Voice control and managing behaviour

This article explores the importance of verbal skills in the classroom, reminding teachers that the way that they use their voice could be key to managing behavior

Some readers will remember the frustration of a having a sore throat and perhaps even a loss of voice during the first half term of their teaching career; other readers will be experiencing the problem right now! Teachers should try to remember that when managing the behaviour of the pupils in your teaching groups, non-verbal skills are important. Facial expression, body posture, hand gestures, proximity and speed of movement are just a few of the key skills that contribute to the effectiveness of non-verbal techniques.

Verbal skills are also crucial in managing behaviour, however, and these are the ones that we shall focus on here. They require a similar variety of techniques: volume, pace, pitch and tone will all contribute to the strength of the verbal message you are giving. All too often your emotions and feelings can have an adverse effect on your verbal delivery, and these can be affected by all kinds of outside influences. A late night, a bad journey to work, disagreement in the staffroom or a particularly difficult group of pupils may all contribute to the way you are feeling when you walk into the classroom.

As your feelings and thoughts drive your behaviour, it is very easy to allow these negative thoughts to affect your verbal (and non-verbal) responses. Pupils will quickly make their own interpretations of your mood when faced with shouting or a tone of exasperation. Invariably, their responses will echo your own initial contact, and in this case you should bear in mind the concept of “voice matching”; for instance, if you are shouting, then the pupil will probably shout back, whereas if you are quieter and controlled then the pupil will be more likely to be calm in their reply.

It is very important that you are able to, not only recognise how you are feeling, being aware of all the internal and early warning signs (heart rate, temperature, negative thoughts), but also that you are able to manage these emotions. Your voice is a very powerful tool in the management of behaviour, but if you allow your emotions to dictate how you use your voice, then the end result will be less effective, and pupils may well misinterpret your intended communication.

Remember, control of your voice is not simply about regulating the volume. Pitch and tone play an equally important part. The challenge is to be aware of your voice and have the necessary skills to control it.

Practical Tips
For the majority of people, hearing their own voice on an audio recording is not a pleasant experience:
“That’s not my voice!”
“Oh no! I don’t sound like that, do I?”

These are some of the more typical responses made when listening to recordings of your own voice. If this is your reaction when listening to some simple dialogue, imagine what your reaction might be if you could hear yourself when you are experiencing strong emotions; anger, annoyance or exasperation. Your normal pitch, tone and volume will all be significantly altered, and (to your ears especially) possibly not for the better!

Obtain the necessary permissions from managers and try recording yourself over a period of time. Play the tape back to a colleague; try to make an objective judgement of your performance. If it is not possible to use a tape recording, then have your colleague present in your teaching environment with a brief to analyse the use of your voice. Difficult though it may be, try to depersonalise the analysis when you review the comments. You are attempting to analyse the effectiveness of your voice.

Pay particular attention to how the pitch and tone of your voice affects the listener. Screechy, high-pitched voices are difficult to listen to over long periods of time and loud or shouting voices will certainly be heard, but it is most unlikely that the listener will be able to remember what was said. A dull, breathy voice will instil a feeling of apathy and disinterest – certainly not the feelings of excitement and enquiry that you want to convey in your lessons.

When addressing an individual pupil by name (usually their first name) ignore their behaviour that has probably prompted you to speak to them, and concentrate on that first point of communication.

If you convey annoyance,
“JOHN!!!” (Very loud)
or apathy,
“Oh for goodness sake, John!” (Thoughts of here we go again)
chances are the pupil’s reaction will reflect your own mood.

Try to use a slight inflection in your voice, almost indicating a question. This is much easier to do with a name of two syllables, but even with a single syllable name, try to raise the pitch at the end of the name, as in the form of a question. You are simply trying to gain the pupil’s attention, not convey all your feelings in one word!

If you analyse your voice and differentiate it to match the requirements of the situation, you might even begin to enjoy audio recordings! It will certainly improve your effectiveness.

About the author: Dave Stott has nearly 30 years' teaching experience including seven years as a headteacher. He has worked in mainstream and special schools and Local Authority Behaviour Support Services, and is now a wrtier, consultant and trainer.

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The student with attitude

How do you deal with a student whose attitude is simply unacceptable? Dave Stott offers some practical ideas.

I suspect that this week's title will already have stirred up some feelings about students past or present. Unfortunately, my guess is that you will be thinking not of the student whose behaviour and attitude you find pleasing, helpful and enthusiastic, but of the student who can – with just one word, a shrug or a change of facial expression – change the whole atmosphere of a classroom and trigger a situation that quickly escalates out of control.

When you are already feeling worked up or anxious about a situation and you decide to move closer to the difficult student, using that well-known tactic of 'proximity', how do you then feel if the student looks you full in the face and grins broadly? Or if he or she begins to mutter something which you can't quite hear? Remember that the muttering or grin may well be the audible or visible sign of the student's own anxiety and is not necessarily intended to suggest even more challenge to you!

Obviously the grin, brought on by the student's own inability to manage his or her own feelings and emotions, is relatively low-level when compared to the other extreme of open defiance, non-compliance and verbal threats. The natural temptation is to either try to ignore the student's behaviour and walk away, or to take issue with the student and confront them, escalating the situation. You are now not dealing with just one student – you are on show to the rest of the class, with all of them waiting to see your reaction. The situation can be easily inflamed by peer pressure, with the student's friends eager to see how far the face-off will go.

Clearly it is not appropriate to respond in a way that inflames the situation, nor can you keep ignoring this type of behaviour. It is important to consistently give the clear and non-negotiable message that you, as the adult in the room, are in charge and that you are not prepared to accept the student's attitude towards you/school/learning etc. The key skill here is to remain calm and confident and to avoid a response which can be interpreted as either passive or hostile.

Practical tips

In remaining calm and confident it is essential that you are in control of your own emotions. Use strategies such as:

• self-calming
• being aware of personal space
• verbal language
• non-verbal communication (body language)
• a carefully planned approach to the problem.

In trying to resolve the situation, give the student plenty of opportunities to think about his or her attitude and thereby begin to make some better behaviour choices. In any verbal interaction try to adopt a no-blame approach and avoid using statements that begin with 'You!', eg 'You just can't help yourself, can you?' Instead, try to engage the student with a more empathetic message of how his or her behaviour is affecting you and/or the rest of the group; for example, 'When you look at me like that I feel that you just don't care…'

In the heat of the classroom, when all eyes are on you, it is often a good idea to speak with the student, ideally so that others cannot hear and to use the tactic of the one-to-one meeting. Used when a student continually displays unacceptable behaviour, these meetings must be on your terms – ie when you are calm and away from an audience (be aware of school policy when speaking one-to-one with students) and – vitally – when you are totally prepared, which should include preparing a variety of possible resolutions.

The meeting should be carefully structured, allowing you to clearly state exactly what the problem is and why you cannot permit it to continue. Describe the problem as you see it and use specific examples of when it has occurred. Allow the student to make a contribution to the discussion. You are not trying to place blame, but rather problem-solve. Conclude the meeting with a clear agreed plan which clearly states how the student might begin to make changes, and most importantly, how you will be helping him or her to succeed. Set a time frame and review the progress as agreed. End on a positive!

In many circumstances students with attitude have got themselves into the situation through peer pressure, anxiety or simply not knowing how to respond to you. Your proactive responses showing that you genuinely care about the student and your consistency and calmness in the classroom, together with the use of specific one-to-one problem-solving meetings, can often help the student to change their challenging attitude into acceptable behaviour.

Written by: Dave Stott

About the Author

Dave Stott has 30 years teaching experience including seven years as a headteacher. He has worked in mainstream and special schools, and Local Authority behaviour support services. Dave is now a writer, consultant and trainer.

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Tips to Manage Conflicts

Clarifying Confusion About Conflict

Conflict is when two or more values, perspectives and opinions are contradictory in nature and haven't been aligned or agreed about yet, including:
1. Within yourself when you're not living according to your values;
2. When your values and perspectives are threatened; or
3. Discomfort from fear of the unknown or from lack of fulfillment.
Conflict is inevitable and often good, for example, good teams always go through a "form, storm, norm and perform" period. Getting the most out of diversity means often-contradictory values, perspectives and opinions.
Conflict is often needed. It:
1. Helps to raise and address problems.
2. Energizes work to be on the most appropriate issues.
3. Helps people "be real", for example, it motivates them to participate.
4. Helps people learn how to recognize and benefit from their differences.
Conflict is not the same as discomfort. The conflict isn't the problem - it is when conflict is poorly managed that is the problem.

Conflict is a problem when it:
1. Hampers productivity.
2. Lowers morale.
3. Causes more and continued conflicts.
4. Causes inappropriate behaviors.

Types of Managerial Actions that Cause Workplace Conflicts

1. Poor communications
a. Employees experience continuing surprises, they aren't informed of new decisions, programs, etc.
b. Employees don't understand reasons for decisions, they aren't involved in decision-making.
c. As a result, employees trust the "rumor mill" more than management.

2. The alignment or the amount of resources is insufficient. There is:
a. Disagreement about "who does what".
b. Stress from working with inadequate resources.

3. "Personal chemistry", including conflicting values or actions among managers and employees, for example:
a. Strong personal natures don't match.
b. We often don't like in others what we don't like in ourselves.

4. Leadership problems, including inconsistent, missing, too-strong or uninformed leadership (at any level in the organization), evidenced by:
a. Avoiding conflict, "passing the buck" with little follow-through on decisions.
b. Employees see the same continued issues in the workplace.
c. Supervisors don't understand the jobs of their subordinates.

Key Managerial Actions / Structures to Minimize Conflicts

1. Regularly review job descriptions. Get your employee's input to them. Write down and date job descriptions. Ensure:
a. Job roles don't conflict.
b. No tasks "fall in a crack".

2. Intentionally build relationships with all subordinates.
a. Meet at least once a month alone with them in office.
b. Ask about accomplishments, challenges and issues.

3. Get regular, written status reports and include:
a. Accomplishments.
b. Currents issues and needs from management.
c. Plans for the upcoming period.

4. Conduct basic training about:
a. Interpersonal communications.
b. Conflict management.
c. Delegation.

5. Develop procedures for routine tasks and include the employees' input.
a. Have employees write procedures when possible and appropriate.
b. Get employees' review of the procedures.
c. Distribute the procedures.
d. Train employees about the procedures.

6. Regularly hold management meetings, for example, every month, to communicate new initiatives and status of current programs.

7. Consider an anonymous suggestion box in which employees can provide suggestions.

Ways People Deal With Conflict

There is no one best way to deal with conflict. It depends on the current situation. Here are the major ways that people use to deal with conflict.
1. Avoid it. Pretend it is not there or ignore it.
a. Use it when it simply is not worth the effort to argue. Usually this approach tends to worsen the conflict over time.

2. Accommodate it. Give in to others, sometimes to the extent that you compromise yourself.
a. Use this approach very sparingly and infrequently, for example, in situations when you know that you will have another more useful approach in the very near future. Usually this approach tends to worsen the conflict over time, and causes conflicts within yourself.

3. Competing. Work to get your way, rather than clarifying and addressing the issue. Competitors love accommodators.
a. Use when you have a very strong conviction about your position.

4. Compromising. Mutual give-and-take.
a. Use when the goal is to get past the issue and move on.

5. Collaborating. Focus on working together.
a. Use when the goal is to meet as many current needs as possible by using mutual resources. This approach sometimes raises new mutual needs.
b. Use when the goal is to cultivate ownership and commitment.

To Manage a Conflict within Yourself - "Core Process"

It's often in the trying that we find solace, not in getting the best solution. The following steps will help you in this regard.
1. Name the conflict, or identify the issue, including what you want that you aren't getting. Consider:
a. Writing your thoughts down to come to a conclusion.
b. Talk to someone, including asking them to help you summarize the conflict in 5 sentences or less.

2. Get perspective by discussing the issue with your friend or by putting it down in writing. Consider:
a. How important is this issue?
b. Does the issue seem worse because you're tired, angry at something else, etc.?
c. What's your role in this issue?

3. Pick at least one thing you can do about the conflict.
a. Identify at least three courses of action.
b. For each course, write at least three pros and cons.
c. Select an action - if there is no clear course of action, pick the alternative that will not hurt, or be least hurtful, to yourself and others.
d. Briefly discuss that course of action with a friend.

4. Then do something.
a. Wait at least a day before you do anything about the conflict. This gives you
a cooling off period.
b. Then take an action.
c. Have in your own mind, a date when you will act again if you see no clear improvement.

To Manage a Conflict With Another - "Core Process"

1. Know what you don't like about yourself, early on in your career. We often don't like in others what we don't want to see in ourselves.
a. Write down 5 traits that really bug you when see them in others.
b. Be aware that these traits are your "hot buttons".

2. Manage yourself. If you and/or the other person are getting heated up, then manage yourself to stay calm by
a. Speaking to the person as if the other person is not heated up - this can be very effective!
b. Avoid use of the word "you" - this avoids blaming.
c. Nod your head to assure them you heard them.
d. Maintain eye contact with them.

3. Move the discussion to a private area, if possible.

4. Give the other person time to vent.
a. Don't interrupt them or judge what they are saying.

5. Verify that you're accurately hearing each other. When they are done speaking:} a. Ask the other person to let you rephrase (uninterrupted) what you are hearing from them to ensure you are hearing them.
b. To understand them more, ask open-ended questions. Avoid "why" questions - those questions often make people feel defensive.

6. Repeat the above step, this time for them to verify that they are hearing you. When you present your position
a. Use "I", not "you".
b. Talk in terms of the present as much as possible.
c. Mention your feelings.

7. Acknowledge where you disagree and where you agree.

8. Work the issue, not the person. When they are convinced that you understand them:
a. Ask "What can we do fix the problem?" They will likely begin to complain again. Then ask the same question. Focus on actions they can do, too.

9. If possible, identify at least one action that can be done by one or both of you.
a. Ask the other person if they will support the action.
b. If they will not, then ask for a "cooling off period".

10. Thank the person for working with you.

11. If the situation remains a conflict, then:
a. Conclude if the other person's behavior conflicts with policies and procedures in the workplace and if so, present the issue to your supervisor.
b. Consider whether to agree to disagree.
c. Consider seeking a third party to mediate.

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Go & Grab! Twenty Sure Fire Techniques to Expand 24 Hours!

Time: A scarce resource

The real problem of leisure time is how to keep others from using yours." - Arthur Lacey

Are there a hundred different things you wish you could do with your life someday — anything from exercising to meditation or yoga to writing that novel you always wished you could write to reading more to relaxing and watching the sunrise? But perhaps you never have the time, like most people.

The truth is, we all have the same amount of time, and it's finite and in great demand. But some of us have made the time for doing the things we love doing, and others have allowed the constant demands and pressures and responsibilities of life to dictate their days.

It's time to move from the second group back into the first. Reclaim your time. Create the life you want and make the most of the free time you lay claim to. It's not hard, though it does take a little bit of effort and diligence.

Not all of these will be applicable to your life — choose the ones you can apply and give them a try:

Take a time out. Freeing up your time starts with taking a step back to take a good look at your life. You need to block off at least an hour. Several hours or half a day is better. A whole day would be awesome. A weekend would be even more ideal, though not necessary practical for many folks. With this block of time, take a look at your life with some perspective. Is it what you've always wanted? How would you get to where you've always wanted to be? What do you enjoy doing, but don't have enough time to do? What things actually fill up your day? Are there things you could drop or minimize to make more time? We'll look at some of these things in the following items, but it starts with taking a time out to think and plan.

Find your essentials. What is it that you love to do? Make a short list of 4-5 things. These are the things you want to make room for.

Find your time-wasters. What do you spend a lot of your time on that isn't on your essential list? Take a close look at these things and really think about whether they're necessary, or if there are ways to reduce, minimize or eliminate these things. Sometimes you do things because you assume they're necessary, but if you give it some thought you can find ways to drop them from your life. Figure out what you do simply to waste time — maybe surfing certain sites, watching TV, talking a lot at the water cooler, etc. You're going to want to minimize these time-wasters to make room for the more important stuff, the stuff that makes you happy and that you love to do.

Schedule the time. As you sit down and think about your life and what you want to do, versus what you actually do, you will be looking at ways to free up time. It's crucial that you take a blank weekly schedule (you can just write it out on a piece of paper, or use your calendar) and assign blocks for the things you love — the stuff on your essentials list. If you want to exercise, for example, when will you do it? Put the blocks of time on your schedule, and make these blocks the most important appointments of your week. Schedule the rest of your life around these blocks.

Consolidate. There are many things you do, scattered throughout your day or your week, that you might be able to consolidate in order to save time. A good example is errands — instead of running one or two a day, do them all in one day to save time and gas. Another example is email, or any kind of communication — batch process your email instead of checking and reading and responding throughout the day. Same thing with meetings, paperwork, anything that you do regularly.

Cut out meetings. This isn't possible for everyone, but in my experience meetings take up a lot of time to get across a little information, or to make easy decisions that could be made via email or phone. As much as you can, minimize the number of meetings you hold and attend. In some cases this might mean talking to your boss and telling her that you have other priorities, and asking to be excused. In other cases this might mean asking the people holding the meeting if you can get the info in other ways. If so, you've saved yourself an hour or so per meeting (sometimes more).

De clutters your schedule. If you have a heavily packed schedule, full of meetings and errands and tasks and projects and appointments, you're going to want to weed it out so that it's not so jam-packed. Find the stuff that's not so essential and cancel them. Postpone other stuff. Leave big blank spaces in your schedule.

Re-think your routine. Often we get stuck in a routine that's anything but what we really want our days to be like. Is there a better way of doing things? You're the creator of your life — make a new routine that's more pleasant, more optimal, more filled with things you love.

Cut back on email. I mentioned email in an earlier point above, regarding consolidating, but it's such a major part of most people's lives that it deserves special attention. How often do you check email? How much time do you spend composing emails? If you spend a major part of your work day on email, as many people do (and as I once did), you can free up a lot of time by reducing the time you spend in email. Now, this won't work for everyone, but it can work for many people: choose 2-3 key times during the day to process your inbox to empty, and keep your responses to 5 sentences.

Learn to say no. If you say "yes" to every request, you will never have any free time. Get super protective about your time, and say "no" to everything but the essential requests.

Keep your list to 3. When you make out your daily to-do list, just list the three Most Important Tasks you want to accomplish today. Don't make a laundry list of tasks, or you'll fill up all your free time. By keeping your task list small, but populated only by important tasks, you ensure that you are getting the important stuff done but not overloading yourself.

Do your Biggest Rock first. Of the three Most Important Tasks you choose for the day, pick the biggest one, or the one you're dreading most, and do that first. Otherwise you'll put that off as much as possible and fill your day with less important things. Don't allow yourself to check email until that Big Rock is taken care of. It starts your day with a sense of major accomplishment, and leaves you with a lot of free time the rest of the day, because the most important thing is already done.

Delegate. If you have subordinates or coworkers who can do a task or project, try to delegate it. Don't feel like you need to do everything yourself. If necessary, spend a little time training the person to whom you're delegating the task, but that little time spent training will pay off in a lot of time saved later. Delegating allows you to focus on the core tasks and projects you should be focusing on.

Cut out distractions. What is there around your workspace that distracts you from the task at hand? Sometimes it's visual clutter, or papers lying around that call for your attention and action, or email or IM notifies on your computer that pop up at the wrong time, or the phone, or coworkers. See if you can eliminate as many of these as possible — the more you can focus, the more effective you'll be and the less time you'll waste. That equals time saved for the good stuff.

Disconnect. The biggest of distractions, for most people, is the Internet. My most productive times are when I'm disconnected from the grid. Now, I'm not saying you need to be disconnected all the time, but if you really want to be able to effectively complete tasks, disconnect your Internet so you can really focus. Set certain times of the day for connectivity, and only connect during those periods.

Outsource. If you can't delegate, see if you can outsource. With the Internet, we can connect with people from all over the world. I've outsourced many things, from small tasks to checking email to legal work to design and editing work and more. That allows me to focus on the things I'm best at, the things I love doing, and saves me a lot of time.

Make use of your mornings. I find that mornings are the absolute best times to schedule the things I really want to do. I run, read and write in the mornings — three of the four things on my Essentials List (spending time with family is the other thing on the list). Mornings are great because your day hasn't been filled with a bunch of unscheduled, demanding, last-minute tasks that will push back those Essentials. For example, if you schedule something for late afternoon, by the time late afternoon rolls around, you might have a dozen other things newly added to your to-do list, and you'll put off that late-afternoon Essential. Instead, schedule it for the morning, and it'll rarely (if ever) get pushed back.

The Golden Right-after-work Time. Other than mornings, I find the time just after work to be an incredible time for doing Essential things. Exercise, for example, is great in the 5-o'clock hour, as is spending time with family, or doing anything else relaxing.

Your evenings. The time before you go to bed is also golden, as it exists every single day, and it's usually completely yours to schedule. What do you want to do with this time? Read? Spend time with your kids? Work on a hobby you're passionate about? Take advantage of this time.

Lunch breaks. If the three golden times mentioned above don't work for you, lunch breaks are another good opportunity to schedule things. Some people like to exercise, or to take quiet times, during their lunch breaks. Others use this time to work on an important personal goal or project.

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