Workshop Handouts - Final Yr Degree Students - Payyanur College
“We are being judged by a new yardstick; not just how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also how well we handle ourselves and each other.”
Attributes of a person with “Good personality
Personal and Professional integrity
Trustworthiness and reliability
Good control over body and mind
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is not about being nice all the time
It is about being honest.
Emotional intelligence is not about being “touchy-feely.”
It is about being aware of your feelings, and those of others.
Emotional intelligence is not about being emotional.
It is about being smart with your emotions.
According to Daniel Goleman, Set of key skills, abilities and competencies that can be learned by anyone. (Unlike traditional Intelligence Quotient (IQ) which is primarily innate)
He writes that emotional intelligence include such skills as being able to motivate oneself, being persistent in facing obstacles and achieve goals, controlling impulses and delaying gratification, controlling one’s moods, thinking rationally, empathizing with others and hoping.
Today’s Training Will Help You
Understand emotional intelligence and why it is important to personal and professional success.
Recognize five competencies you can work on to increase your level of emotional intelligence.
Listen to and employ your emotions for better decision making.
Show you care, and build trust by displaying sensitivity and concern.
Use your energy and enthusiasm to motivate others.
Help in planning your future career.
Personal Benefits of Emotional Intelligence
Greater career success
Stronger personal relationships
Increased optimism and confidence
Professional Benefits of Emotional Intelligence
Effective leadership skills
Less workplace conflict
Better problem solving skills
Increased likelihood of promotion
The Five Essential Competencies of Emotional Intelligence
Self-awareness includes recognition of our personality, our strengths and weaknesses, our likes and dislikes.
Developing self-awareness can help us to recognise when we are stressed or under pressure.
It is also often a prerequisite for effective communication and interpersonal relations, as well as for developing empathy for others.
“If you understand your own feelings you get a really great handle on how you’re going to interact and perform with others… So one of the first starting points is, ‘what’s going on inside of me?”
Awareness of our own emotional states is the foundation of all the E.I. skills.
Learn to “tune-in” to your emotions – they can give you valid information about your responses to stressful situations.
Recognize the importance of emotions even in “technical” fields.
“If we are in a heightened state of agitation or anger we cannot make good decisions, we cannot reason well.”
Accept responsibility for choosing your own emotional responses.
Learn to “reframe” stressful situations into ones that are challenging.
Be aware of, and learn to manage, your own emotional “triggers.”
“High performers are those who are able to see with some clarity to what degree they are responsible for a setback and to what degree it may be circumstance or other people, and as a result they are able to be more persistent.”
Recognize that emotions affect your performance.
Identify your “explanatory style.” When a setback strikes, resist asking “what’s wrong with me?” Instead, ask “what can I fix?”
Work to achieve your “flow state,” being in the moment with work tasks.
Eight mental steps to self-motivation
Use visual motivators: Inspirational quote or poster - Cartoon or joke
Keep positive friends: Those support and build you up
Read and listen well: Books and tapes
Positive self-talk: Be your own best encourager
Life can be tough -get used to it: Life is not always fair; it’s rarely easy. Stop thinking life should be easy.
Keep a positive attitude: Choose your attitude towards your circumstances.
Take a break: Take some time to re-charge your emotional and spiritual batteries.
Share with others: Once you are motivated yourself, start motivating others. It will drive you to new heights of accomplishment!
“If people will stop for a moment and put themselves in another person’s shoes…it will help them modify their own behaviour. It will help them develop relationships with those people.”
Empathy means recognizing, and responding appropriately to, the emotions of others.
By expressing empathy, you also create empathy in others.
Realize that emotions impact such measurable goals as productivity and safety.
Creating Effective Relationships
Employ all your emotional competencies – awareness, regulation, motivation, and empathy – to:
Influence and persuade others.
Build consensus and support for team goals.
Motivate and inspire yourself and others to achieve those goals.
Ten Commandments of Human Relationships
Speak to People
Smile at People
Call People by Name
Be Friendly and Helpful
Be Genuinely Interested In People
Be Generous With Praise
Have a Good Sense of Humour
Don't take yourself too seriously. When you add lots of patience, and humility, you will have a recipe for enduring success.
How to Increase Your EQ
Conduct a “personal inventory.”
Analyze the setting & identify skills needed.
Enlist trusted friends.
Focus on a few competencies.
Practice, practice, practice.
Be observant and reflective.
Don’t expect immediate results.
Learn from your mistakes.
Acknowledge your successes.
"And so there's a real pay-off. The people who will become the leaders, the people who will become the star performers, are the ones who have the strengths in the key emotional intelligence
1. Gardner, H. (1983). Frames of Mind. New York: Basic Books.
2. Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence. New York: Bantam Books.
3. Mayer, J.D., Salovey, P., & Caruso, D. (2000). Models of Emotional
Intelligence. In Ed. R.J. Sternberg’s Handbook of Intelligence (pp. 396-420). Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.
4. Liptak, J.J. Using Emotional Intelligence to help students succeed in college. Journal of Employment Counselling.
You can always email me for clarification or assistance.